Cautiously hopeful

Well... I finally did it. I had to because keeping it in was making me crazy.

In the morning I had texted Scott that I needed to talk to him about something that's been on my mind. But when he called and asked what, I went speechless. So he suggested we talk in person later. When I got there, he asked me right off what was up and I froze again and said "Maybe later." So he turned off the tv and "No. Come on, go ahead." So I stuttered out some words- I don't think there were any grammatically correct sentences, but he smiled patiently the entire time and I knew it was going to be okay.

We are both interested in moving forward. We talked about our hopes and fears and decided to just let things unfold naturally. And then we had a few minutes of awkward silence before we resumed our normal playful routine.

So today I feel anxious, but a happy, excited, I can't wait to see him again anxiousness.

Still exericising regularly but with finals week, just stayed steady, which was my hope. Got A's in all my courses. Nearly stepped on a 6 foot long black snake on my hike yesterday. I want to be careful that any changes in the relationship don't affect my focus on my fitness.

I had said a few months back that I hoped to find a guy who would love me as I am, before I lose weight--and then let him enjoy the changes as I get in shape. The friend I said it to said I was crazy, that I shouldn't even try dating until I got in shape, because the kinds of guys who would settle for me would be losers. He even specifically said Scott would never been interested in someone like me. But, I guess Ben's motives should be considered suspect anyhow...

I remember reading once about how to decide if a relationship was worth pursuing- they said imagine yourself with that person- at a picnic with friends, a company dinner, holiday family events- would you be comfortable with them in all of these situations? Would they behave appropriately? I like to add a couple others- being your liason when you are unconcious in a hospital bed, fielding a sensitive phone call, handling a bad situation with a contractor...